


Panic Attack

by crutchietastic



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Black Squadron - Freeform, Commander Poe Dameron, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attack, Pilot Reader, poe helps you through a panic attack, rookie reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crutchietastic/pseuds/crutchietastic
Summary: A hand fell on your shoulder, making you jump. You looked up and met a pair of concerned brown eyes. Blinking hard, you got it through your head that it was Poe. A second later, you realized that he was saying something, asking you if you were okay. You tried to respond that you were fine, not wanting to brother the Commander or make him think that you didn't like flying with him or his squadron, but even if you tried to convince him nothing was wrong, everything about you would just give it away. Wordlessly, you shook your head."Are you hurt?" It sounded like he was talking through a tube."I can't breathe."***Commander Poe Dameron notices that he's new pilot is suffering after a successful mission, which sends him into dad mode.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 66





	Panic Attack

You felt like you were going to be sick. 

You should have been excited. You should have been ecstatic. 

The mission had been a success, a piece of cake with no Resistance casualties. Plus, you had gotten to fly with Poe Dameron and the Black Squadron as a rookie. By all accounts, your stomach should be doing flips because you were giddy, not because your body suddenly felt like it was under an a crushing amount of stress. 

But while you were in the belly of a First Order hideout, you'd gotten a glimpse of a stromtrooper trying camp. And all of it's members had been children, none older than maybe ten years old. It was one of the most horrifying things you'd ever seen. It didn't matter how well the rest of the mission had went, your mind kept going back to the image of children, many practically babies, being brainwashed and taught to kill like robots. 

Shakily, you climbed out of your X-Wing, a little slower than the other pilots. As soon as you were all on the ground, Poe said a few words and the group did some sort of cheer but you didn't process any of it. You felt like you weren't in your body, you weren't connected to your brain. As other people who'd been milling around the hanger started to surround the squadron, you were becoming overwhelmed. You had no space, no bubble, no room to breath. You'd had this exact nightmare, except in your dreams you were in your cock pit and it was getting smaller and smaller until you couldn't fit. At least in the cock pit, you could eject yourself out of the ship. 

This was inescapable.

You leaned against the ladder of your ship, clutching to side for dear life as tears pricked at your eyes. Frantically, you looked around, desperate for a way to get out of this _mob_ \- Maker, why were there so many people here?

A hand fell on your shoulder, making you jump. You looked up and met a pair of concerned brown eyes. Blinking hard, you got it through your head that it was Poe. A second later, you realized that he was saying something, asking you if you were okay. You tried to respond that you were fine, not wanting to brother the Commander or make him think that you didn't like flying with him or his squadron, but even if you tried to convince him nothing was wrong, everything about you would just give it away. Wordlessly, you shook your head. 

"Are you hurt?" It sounded like he was talking through a tube.

"I can't breathe." You weren't sure it you actually said it out loud or not but Poe seemed to understand what was going on. 

Before you knew it, Poe was sliding an arm around your shoulders and leading you away from everyone else, politely trying to make it so no one would notice you cracking. He led you just outside of the hanger, into the thicket of trees. The air was more clear and if you looked up, you could see the sky. That was a comforting sight. He sat you down on a rock, kneeling in front of you and gently grasping your arms. 

"Take a deep breath," He instructed in a tone you couldn't disobey. You hadn't even realized how tight your chest. Poe took your chin and made you look at him as you could fall into sync with him, "In. Out. In. Out. Just like that, sweetheart, you're doing so well."

He led you through a few more breaths, giving you praises until you were a little more relaxed, "There we go, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe, you're safe here."

You gave him a little nod and he continued, "Now, can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I-I don't know!" You choked out, squirming in your seat. That wasn't entirely true. You did know what had upset you but you didn't know why it was making you like this. "I don't know what's happening to me."

"It's a panic attack, you're having a panic attack. Lots of us get them all the time, it's okay."

Panic? You were panicking? After all the training you'd gone through about how to stay calm on duty and you were panicking? 

"Hey, hey, look at me. You did so well during that mission. I know it's scary to fly with a new squad but I've never flown with a rookie this good. I just want you to know that." Poe said, wiping away a few tears as he cradled your face, "But I need you to tell me if something happened out there."

"I j-just- that training camp we saw," You sobbed, finally breaking down, "I can-can't stop thin-thinking about it."

"With the kids?" You nodded and a sober look passed over Poe's face as he rubbed your arm, "I know. I know."

"I mean, how can I hate them, kill them _when it's not their fault_?" You cried, your voice cracking. 

Poe sighed, "Yeah, we can't, can we. But we _can_ fight for them. We _can_ win this war so that they'll never have to fight in it. We _can_ beat the First Order so that those kids won't have to do shit for them."

That was both comforting and overwhelming. What if you couldn't do it?

"I can't." You whimpered, starting to hyperventilate again. 

"Breath." He reminded you firmly, "It's a lot and sometimes it can seem like too much but you are so damn brave and you have such a good heart. And you don't have to do it alone, I promise you. I'm with you, the squadron is with you, the entire Resistance is with you until the end of the line. We're gonna do it, okay?"

"Okay." You whispered, earning a smile from Poe. You felt more leveled out, more aware of your surroundings and Poe. Another wave of anxiety hit you as you realized how weak this made you seem, crying in front of your commander, the Resistance poster boy, after just one flight, "Commander, I-I'm so sorry." 

Poe quirked an eyebrow, "You didn't do anything wrong, kiddo."

"I know but I fell apart after just one mission and I swear I don't usually fall apart like this and I'm strong enough to be on your squadron-"

Poe cut you off by standing up and pulling you up into a tight hug. You were confused but choose not to question it, burying your face into his chest while he rubbed your back.

"Hey, it's okay to get scared. It's okay to fall apart. It doesn't make you weak or any less of a pilot." He soothed, bringing a hand to cradle the back of your head, "Panic attacks happen to all of us. No one's gonna hold one against you, especially not me."

You nodded, subconsciously nuzzling into the fabric of his flight suit, initially rough but now soft from wear. "Thank you, commander."

Poe chuckled, pulling away just enough so he could look at you, "You don't have to call me 'commander', call me Poe."

"Really?"

"Course. You earned it, kid." He said easily, patting your arm, "Just like you earned your spot on my squadron."

You blinked, this mission was supposed to be a test run to see where you would fit best, "I did?"

"That was a really hard thing to see on your first mission. You didn't let it affect your flying. And I meant it when I said that I've never seen a rookie fly that well. You fit."

"Thank you, Poe. I really wanted that." You said, finally cracking a smile.

"Do you feel better?" He asked, grasping your shoulder. 

"Yeah, I feel a lot better." You told him confidently, wiping away the last few stray tears. Poe nodded, pleased and brought you into another hug, quicker this time. 

"Good. Anytime you feel like that again, don't hesitate to come find me. You're part of my team now, we take care of each other. I'll take care of you." Poe said, straightening his shoulders. 

"Now lets go get a drink. I think we both need one." 


End file.
